True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
