I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
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