he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Randomize
