I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
She needs sedatives and a leash
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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