I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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