Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Figured out how I got so much alcohol in my hair: tried to drink my drink using my cleavage as a cup holder. Missed my drink hole and got it all in my hair
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize