doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
