Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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