You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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