As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize