Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Shitshow foam night was such a success
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
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