Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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