Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
