I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
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