All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
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He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
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ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
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