Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
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