just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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