ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
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