i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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