Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
