I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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