I only kidnapped one of them. chill
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
Randomize
