the condom got lost in my hair
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
