Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
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