Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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