why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
