whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
