Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
My breath smells like gin and sadness
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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