i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize