Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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