we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
