life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
