Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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