I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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