Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Drunk is a universal language darling
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