triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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