my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
