i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
