we have officially lost it.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
