oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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