Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
Randomize
