Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
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He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
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Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize