how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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