My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
