You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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