The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
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