hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
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