So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
please come you make the beer taste better
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
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