Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
He uses pillows to masturbate.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
