i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
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