I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I think I am morally bankrupt
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
