My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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