just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
