i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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