I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Randomize