hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
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Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
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Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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