they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
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